One ancient taxonomy. One completely invented modern one.
For women only
Choose a test
Which Semonides woman are you?
Ten actual categories from a Greek poet writing in the 7th century BC.
Which animal is the bloke?
Seven completely made-up male categories inspired by the same questionable taxonomic method.
The Semonides test
Semonides of Amorgos was a Greek poet writing in the 7th century BC. In a surviving poem usually known as the Types of Women, he divided women into ten animal and elemental stereotypes.
There are pig-women, fox-women, donkey-women, dog-women, stormy sea-women, Earth-women, weasel-women, horse-women, ape-women and bee-women. The bee is the only category he approves of.
Answer ten questions and the app will decide which of his ten stereotypes you are. After the result, you can inspect all ten categories.
The seven male animals
These male categories are completely made up for this app. Semonides did not write them. They are invented in the spirit of his method: take a handful of recurring behaviours, attach an animal to each one and pretend you have discovered a taxonomy.
The seven categories are the Bonobo, Octopus, Greyhound, Wasp, Panda, Polar Bear and Labrador.
Answer ten questions about the bloke. The app will assign him the animal whose behaviour best matches your answers. After the result, you can tap every animal to see the full description.